What we are changed by is more “caught than taught” – usually what we learn that truly impacts us is not what is purposefully spoken but rather what is picked up almost incidentally from those around us.
Today’s question is, who are you influencing?
Paul in this passage is specifically addressing women, and specifically in the context of the first century household. There is, however, much to learn from this despite the fact that we live in a much more egalitarian and much more dispersed and fragmented society.
The older women, Paul writes, have a special opportunity to minister to the younger women. They are called to be “reverent in their behavior” – this sentence both calls back to the behavior expected of the older men (“sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness“) but also uses this religious term that calls back to the idea of a sacrifice being fit for the altar of God.
Paul specifically warns against the stereotypical behavior that older women were known for in society, both slander and alcohol dependence. These stereotypes continue to bedevil us today, and the temptation to both of them are very real.
They are called to train the younger women – but the term translated “train” comes from the same root word translated as “self-controlled” and “sober-minded” earlier. Older women are to encourage, guide and support younger women in the path towards self-control and clear thinking.
In context, this means helping them become “husband-lovers” (philandros) and “children-lovers” (philoteknos), both of which can be difficult at different times.
Then in verse 5, it goes into the specifics of how this plays out, with self-control, purity, diligence, kindness, and keeping harmony within the home.
That harmony in particular is called out so that the “word of God may not be reviled.” In a world where any disruption anywhere within the system was seen as a threat to civilization itself, special emphasis was put on ensuring that the health of the household and importance that God puts on family was visible from the outside in.
– Sermon Notes, Mahlon Friesen, Seed Church, Lynnwood, WA, November 10, 2019