The subtitle of this sermon series is “Renewed Life in Christ and His Body”. That last part is key because healing is not only an individual activity but something that happens corporately and in community.
The previous Sermon looked at the hurry created by our families of origin. It started with a look at the family of the patriarchs and all the dysfunction there, and how through the work of God in Joseph, healing came to that family.
The story today is of another high profile biblical family that was deeply dysfunctional. David’s son Amnon lusted after his half-sister and manipulated her into being alone with him where he raped her.
It’s key to understand in this context that God hates abuse like this. Violence led to Him causing the Flood; Jesus warns that violence against the vulnerable will lead to millstones around necks; Christ Himself was abused and betrayed.
So when we look at this story of abuse and violence, we should not be centering the perpetrator of that abuse, but rather Tamar herself. We need to listen to what she has to say: “Where can I take my shame?” Ties of family and society barred her from doing more than being silent.
This is in contrast to the four men in the story who had far more freedom of movement and agency. Amnon was infatuated with Tamar, and instead of setting aside an inappropriate desire or finding a legitimate way to address it, sees what he wants and takes it. Then having done that, the deception (self-deception and otherwise) is over and his “love” turns to hate.
Absalom, though ostensibly on her side and offended on her behalf, does not do anything for two years. When he eventually does, it is a mirror of Amnon’s behavior, taking Amnon’s life much as Amnon took Tamara’s dignity.
David, responsible for this whole household, does nothing but wallow in impotent anger, and certainly does not take any responsibility for his own part in unknowingly enabling Amnon.
Finally, Jonadab, who actively and knowingly enabled Tamara’s violation, appears to get off scott free, and is still advising David towards the end of the story.
This is a story with important implications for us as a church. A massive proportion of people, women especially, have been sexually in some way. We have victims in our church and in our lives. When a victim of sexual abuse enters our church we need to be in a place to welcome and love them.
Tamar asked the question “Where can I carry my shame?” It’s a question that goes unanswered in the original story, but we see the answer come under the new covenant: she can carry her shame to Jesus, and so can we.
And as we are Christ’s body, as a church we must be a safe place where the hurting and abused can carry their shame. We must listen, acknowledge and walk alongside the hurting without being presumptuous or impatient.
Abuse and shame thrive in silence, so if you have lived that, find ways to break the silence. Start small, maybe writing a letter and then destroying it if you aren’t ready to share it. But seek someone you can trust to share it with. If you are mired in shame and self-blame for what someone else did to you, forgive yourself, and let go of any self-recrimination. Seek the redemption and healing Christ offers both directly and through His body.
God wants to renew every part of us – mind, body, soul, spirit. He wants to make us all whole again.
— Sermon Notes, Dave Sim, Renew Church, Lynnwood WA, June 9, 2024
